ZME Science
No Result
View All Result
ZME Science
No Result
View All Result
ZME Science

Home → Science → News

Emotional support, rather than offering solutions, makes couples happier

Instead of offering informational support, just saying "I know how that feels" might be a lot better.

Tibi PuiubyTibi Puiu
July 10, 2018
in News, Psychology
A A
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterSubmit to Reddit

When a partner tries to offer solutions, instead of emotional support, things often go south. What to do? According to a recent study, “couples may be well-advised to provide emotional support to one another instead of informational support.”

Credit: Pixabay.

When couples have trouble communicating well, what seems to always happen is that women want support, which men seem to think is equal to wanting advice. That’s bound to cause trouble in most cases, according to a new study, which found emotional support, rather than informational support, makes couples feel more connected and valued.

In his famous book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, which sold millions of copies, John Gray basically concludes that many problems couples face can be traced to a mismatch between logical and emotional mindsets. Men will often use a problem-solving, goal-orientated approach to address an argument with their partner. However, what women need in most situations is understanding, Gray argues. The whole experience can be extremely frustrating for both partners — and I think most people reading this are no strangers to such feelings.

Gray’s ideas of gender differentiation that explain the supposedly inherent tensions between the sexes and common problems couples face have gathered a lot of flak from the scientific community. A new study, however, seems to offer some evidence supporting his claims.

“I know how that feels”

A team of psychologists at the Universities of Maryland and Wyoming studied 114 male-female newlywed couples, whom they interviewed in order to see which type of support each person looked for from their partner but also which type of support they offered. For instance, the participants had to rate how much they agreed with statements like my partner “said he/she thought I handled a situation well“ or “shared facts or information with me about a situation I was facing.”

“Matching theories of social support suggest that receiving the amount and type of support one prefers from one’s romantic partner promotes more favorable affection and higher relationship satisfaction. Individuals who feel they are provided with less support from their partner than they desire (underprovision) generally experience less positive affect, more negative affect, and tend to be less satisfied in their relationships,” the authors wrote in the Journal of Family Psychology. 

Regardless of whether the participants said they’d prefer informational or emotional support, the results suggest that, across the board, more emotional support was associated with higher relationship satisfaction.

Another interesting finding was that wives told the researchers they wanted more of both types of support than they actually received. Husbands said they’d also want to receive more emotional support from their romantic partners than they get but were generally fine with the informational support they received.

RelatedPosts

After analyzing 4,500 blind dates, scientists found both men and women prefer younger partners
You do have a type when it comes to dating, study finds
Laughing all the way to the bedroom: here’s why women like men who make them laugh
People tend to largely date and marry in their own “league”, as far as beauty is concerned

At the subset level, husbands who said they preferred more informational support felt better when they received it. However, among wives who said they’d rather receive more emotional support but were met with informational support instead, they experienced depressive symptoms.

An important takeaway from these findings is that what works for you doesn’t necessarily have the same effect for your romantic partner. So if trying to offer solutions to the “problem” doesn’t get you anywhere — or makes matters worse — perhaps being more supportive on an emotional level is a better course of action. Sometimes saying something as simple as “I know how that feels” can help couples go a long way.

Tags: couplesromance

ShareTweetShare
Tibi Puiu

Tibi Puiu

Tibi is a science journalist and co-founder of ZME Science. He writes mainly about emerging tech, physics, climate, and space. In his spare time, Tibi likes to make weird music on his computer and groom felines. He has a B.Sc in mechanical engineering and an M.Sc in renewable energy systems.

Related Posts

News

After analyzing 4,500 blind dates, scientists found both men and women prefer younger partners

byTibi Puiu
5 months ago
News

People tend to largely date and marry in their own “league”, as far as beauty is concerned

byTibi Puiu
12 months ago
Couple.
News

You do have a type when it comes to dating, study finds

byAlexandru Micu
6 years ago
Image via You Queen.
News

Laughing all the way to the bedroom: here’s why women like men who make them laugh

byMihai Andrei
10 years ago

Recent news

What’s Seasonal Body Image Dissatisfaction and How Not to Fall into Its Trap

June 28, 2025

Why a 20-Minute Nap Could Be Key to Unlocking ‘Eureka!’ Moments Like Salvador Dalí

June 28, 2025

The world’s oldest boomerang is even older than we thought, but it’s not Australian

June 27, 2025
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Editorial Policy
  • Privacy Policy and Terms of Use
  • How we review products
  • Contact

© 2007-2025 ZME Science - Not exactly rocket science. All Rights Reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • Science News
  • Environment
  • Health
  • Space
  • Future
  • Features
    • Natural Sciences
    • Physics
      • Matter and Energy
      • Quantum Mechanics
      • Thermodynamics
    • Chemistry
      • Periodic Table
      • Applied Chemistry
      • Materials
      • Physical Chemistry
    • Biology
      • Anatomy
      • Biochemistry
      • Ecology
      • Genetics
      • Microbiology
      • Plants and Fungi
    • Geology and Paleontology
      • Planet Earth
      • Earth Dynamics
      • Rocks and Minerals
      • Volcanoes
      • Dinosaurs
      • Fossils
    • Animals
      • Mammals
      • Birds
      • Fish
      • Amphibians
      • Reptiles
      • Invertebrates
      • Pets
      • Conservation
      • Animal facts
    • Climate and Weather
      • Climate change
      • Weather and atmosphere
    • Health
      • Drugs
      • Diseases and Conditions
      • Human Body
      • Mind and Brain
      • Food and Nutrition
      • Wellness
    • History and Humanities
      • Anthropology
      • Archaeology
      • History
      • Economics
      • People
      • Sociology
    • Space & Astronomy
      • The Solar System
      • Sun
      • The Moon
      • Planets
      • Asteroids, meteors & comets
      • Astronomy
      • Astrophysics
      • Cosmology
      • Exoplanets & Alien Life
      • Spaceflight and Exploration
    • Technology
      • Computer Science & IT
      • Engineering
      • Inventions
      • Sustainability
      • Renewable Energy
      • Green Living
    • Culture
    • Resources
  • Videos
  • Reviews
  • About Us
    • About
    • The Team
    • Advertise
    • Contribute
    • Editorial policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact

© 2007-2025 ZME Science - Not exactly rocket science. All Rights Reserved.