The premiere animal model used in research facilities all over the world, the lab mouse, might replace humans at top of the food chain, according to the latest WikiLeaks document released to the public. The leaked classified Lockheed Martin report states that 394 mice showing extraordinary skill beyond their native possibility escaped from holding pen #32, at the animal testing facility.
The mice allegedly overran and killed the guards, hacked into the computer mainframe through a coordinated effort in which some mice would press certain keys, while other would turn knobs perfectly synchronized with one another. Baffling as it may seem, after hacking the Lockheed network, the mice were able to open the hatch doors and escape into the surrounding wilderness near Suffolk, Virginia.
At the facility, mice were bred and genetically altered for countless generations and for various purposes. For instance, some families of mice were bred to express more of the Sirtuin1 gene, making them practically immortal according to the WikiLeaks file. Other mice were bred to carry the Kilver-32 gene in chromosome 14, which according to the report caused the mice to make a huge evolutionary leap forward and become extremely conscious of their essence. The intelligence test results were also off the charts, beyond anything researchers might have imagined!
“Lockheed-Martin work report 05.02.2014 16:32 EST: Subject MX1-354, also known as “El Rato”, is exhibiting extraordinary cognitive progress. While some mice in the control group are having trouble making their way around a maze in search for the cheese delight, El Rato seems to have made his own synthetic cheese, using saliva, cardboard and milk dispensed in his bowl.”
“Lockheed Martin work report 15.03.2014 10:06 EST: El Rato is getting smarter every day it seems. Using a symbol board, the mouse seems to have mastered calculus and is quite the gourmet cook. My colleagues have even set up for him a personal mouse laboratory, which internet access and mini instruments, like mini microscopes, and mini computers. Just like we have, only much smaller. My colleagues think this is all very cute. I’d like to go on file and report that I find all this rather peculiar.”
“Lockheed Martin work report 01.04.2014 06:12 EST: Some 394 of our top-bred mice, of various genetic variants, seem to have overpowered the staff and escaped into the wilderness. Leading the pack seems to be El Rato. My recommendation is that we proceed with extreme caution and alert the authorities to maintain the utmost secrecy surrounding this event. The mice have killed 2 security guards, and caged 6 scientists in the holding pens. Clearly, they are very aggressive and dangerous, and if the situation isn’t contained soon, the “supermice” population, if I may, might grow beyond our possibility of control. God helps us then!”
Virginia state police, as well as Lockheed-Martin officials, has denied any such claim to be true, calling the whole thing an elaborate April fool’s prank.
Enjoyed this article? Join 40,000+ subscribers to the ZME Science newsletter. Subscribe now!