First of all, let it be said that this is not a post for kids – and for the most sensitive; advance at your own risk. But now that you’ve been warned…
The world of animal sex would be considered weird by most, and it’s definitely not what you’d expect. When I was a kid, I used to wonder how hedgehogs… did it. I mean, with the spikes and all, it’s gotta be tricky, right ? Then I came across this little guy, who seems to be doing just fine, and she’s not looking so bad either. Another interesting fact about hedgehogs is that they plug the female vagina with sperm to prevent anyone from taking a sneak peak. Bees, on the other hand, don’t have it so good.
Whenever bees mate, the queen selects a pack of male drones to mate with them – but don’t call them lucky just yet, because their testicles literally explode inside the queen! The point is that their broken penises act as a sort of genital plug to prevent other drones from attempting… something. But let’s move on to happier things. Everybody hates flies, but they really have it good. All they have to do is wait or, to put it even more accurately, stalk. Male flies stalk – and it’s the ones with the widest stalks that get the most action.
Speaking of animals that have it good – the Argentine duck measures about 17 inches – and that would also be the size of its penis. They can practically use it as a lasso to catch females. But that’s nothing compared to barnacles – their penis is about 30 times bigger than their body.
When it comes to kinkiness though, few can even compare with the red-sided garter snake. When it’s mating time, the female releases a pheromone that attracts hundreds of male snakes that rush towards her, creating a ‘mating ball’. The event is so spectacular that thousands of people every year gather to see it. Also, like many species of snake, they have two penises, so the one which gets to position the best is the one that gets to mate. But to make it even weirder (and by a LOT), sometimes, some ‘shemales’ emerge: male snakes that emit the same pheromones as the females. Researchers believe they do this to attract other snakes for warmth and protection (and attention, I bet).
When it comes to giraffes, the males again have a tough job; in order to check if the female is ready, they nudge her rump to induce urination and then they take a small taste of urine, just to check. Also, mating itself is a really tough job when you’ve got a neck like that.
There’s something the creators of ‘Finding Nemo’ forgot to tell you about this species of fish: they can change gender. Clownfish live in a group consisting of a breeding pair of male and female, and if the female dies, the male can change sex and become the dominant female! So your mother could have been your father at some point, Nemo!
The dolphins have an insane sex drive, and they can mate lots and LOTS of times per day! As a matter of fact, they are so crazed to do it that they will sometimes hump inanimate objects, or even turtles…
