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What pick-up line should a woman use on men? Your best bet is being direct

Being direct in your intentions as a woman seems to be the most effective tactic to pique a man's interest. In some cases, though, it makes sense to use a more flippant line.

Tibi PuiubyTibi Puiu
December 3, 2019 - Updated on July 30, 2023
in News, Psychology
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Credit: Pixabay.

If you’re dating in 2019, chances are you’ve gone through some very confusing experiences. Many guys will lament that online dating has made things incredibly frustrating, but the reality is that women don’t have it any easier. Sure, women might have more options — but often times it’s the wrong kind of attention.

In most western cultures, men are expected to make the first move. There is no shortage of dating advice, with entire books and seminars dedicated to how to open a conversation with an attractive woman — enter the world of cheesy pick-up lines:

  • “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
  • “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”
  • “I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?”
  • “There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.”

Some ladies will find these hilarious, others might just cringe. But, could you do better?

Whether in person or on an online dating app, it might be in your interest as a woman to make the first move. Here’s what a new study had to say on the matter.

Psychologists at Saint Mary’s University in Halifax, Canada recruited 130 heterosexual adult males who had to evaluate a series of 12 photographs of women, each annotated with a pick-up line. The participants had to score the perceived attractiveness and perceived promiscuity of each woman featured in the photos, as well as the effectiveness of the pick-up lines.

The researchers tested three types of pick-up lines: direct, flippant, and innocuous. These looked something like this:

  • Direct pick-up lines: “Want to have a drink together?” “You have really nice eyes.” “Can I have your number?” “You’re cute.”
  • Flippant pick-up lines: “Shall we talk, or continue flirting from a distance?” “I always see you here, you must be the bar’s best customer!” “Since you’re alone and I’m alone, why don’t we sit together?” “I’m easy, are you?”
  • Innocuous pick-up lines: “Can you recommend a good drink?” “I’ve seen you before, do you work here?” “Where did you get that tattoo? Did it hurt?” and “Hi.”

The results suggest that direct pick-up lines were the most effective at piquing men’s interest, followed by flippant pick-up lines, while innocuous lines were judged the least effective.

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Perceived attractiveness and promiscuity had a major influence on the effectiveness of the lines. Perhaps unsurprisingly, men rated all types of pick-up lines as effective when delivered by a highly attractive woman. Perceived attractiveness was more important than promiscuity, the study found.

Overall, direct pick-up lines were found to be the most effective. However, for women who were perceived as less attractive, flippant pick-up lines worked the best.

“Results indicate that direct pick-up lines are preferred over flippant or innocuous pick-up lines, with the innocuous being the least preferred. Further, regardless of the line that is used, once a woman has been viewed as attractive by men, she is rated positively. This study provides insight into the effectiveness of women’s tactics for soliciting dating attention,” the authors wrote in their study.

The findings were reported in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.

Tags: dating

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Tibi Puiu

Tibi Puiu

Tibi is a science journalist and co-founder of ZME Science. He writes mainly about emerging tech, physics, climate, and space. In his spare time, Tibi likes to make weird music on his computer and groom felines. He has a B.Sc in mechanical engineering and an M.Sc in renewable energy systems.

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