Everybody has sexual fantasies, but some may go a bit overboard. Don’t worry, I’m not here to judge. Instead, I’d like to show you a most interesting report. After asking 1,500 Canadian adults with a mean age of 30 about their sexual fantasies,  University of Montreal researchers ranked a list of the most common and atypical of these.

Subscribe to our newsletter and receive our new book for FREE
Join 50,000+ subscribers vaccinated against pseudoscience
Download NOW
By subscribing you agree to our Privacy Policy. Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime.

“Clinically, we know what pathological sexual fantasies are: they involve non-consenting partners, they induce pain, or they are absolutely necessary in deriving satisfaction. But apart from that, what exactly are abnormal or atypical fantasies? To find out, we asked people in the general population,” said the University of Montreal’s Christian Joyal, lead author of the study. “Our main objective was to specify norms in sexual fantasies, an essential step in defining pathologies. And as we suspected, there are a lot more common fantasies than atypical fantasies.”

Apparently, men have more fantasies and describe them more vividly than women (big whoop!). More surprising to find may be that a considerable portion of the interviewed women fantasized themes of sexual submission (e.g., being tied up, spanked, forced to have sex). I can sense some red lights flaring, so I need to add that the Canadian researchers also found that, unlike men, women in general clearly distinguish between fantasy and desire. Namely, even those who reported more extreme themes of submission (e.g. domination by a stranger) said they don’t want these fantasies to come true.  The majority of men, however, would love their fantasies to come true (e.g. threesomes). Also worth mentioning is that women fantasize more than men about having sex with their significant other. Men who are already in a relationship, on the other hand, fantasize much more about extramarital relationships compared to women.

“Overall, these findings allow us to shed light on certain social phenomena, such as the popularity of the book Fifty Shades of Grey with women,” Joyal concluded. “The subject is fascinating. We are currently conducting statistical analyses with the same data to demonstrate the existence of homogeneous subgroups of individuals based on combinations of fantasies. For example, people who have submission fantasies also often report domination fantasies. These two themes are therefore not exclusive, quite the contrary. They also seem associated with a higher level of satisfaction.”

Here’s the break down below. It’s worth noting that this data comes from a Canadian populace, as reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. A significant difference might be seen in other countries.

I like to feel romantic emotions during a sexual relationship9288
Taking part in oral sex7988
Having sex in an unusual place8282
Atmosphere and location are important in my sexual fantasies8681
Having sex in a romantic location8578
Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse6683
Masturbating my partner6876
Being masturbated by my partner7172
Having sex with two women3785
Watching two women make love4282
Having sex with an unknown person4973
Making love openly in a public place5766
Being dominated sexually6553
Giving cunnilingus3678
Having sex with a star or a well-known person5262
Giving fellatio7227
Dominating someone sexually4760
Being masturbated by an acquaintance3765
Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure5246
Masturbating an acquaintance3366
Being masturbated by an unknown person3363
Having anal sex3364
Having sex with more than three people (all women)2575
Masturbating an unknown person2862
Tying someone up in order to obtain sexual pleasure4248
Watching someone undress without him or her knowing3263
Having interracial sex2861
Having sex with a woman with very large breasts1969
Ejaculating on my sexual partner (For men only)N/A80
Having sex with someone much older than me3448
Having sex with more than three people (both men and women)5716
Having sex with two men3145
Being photographed or filmed during a sexual relationship3244
I have fantasised that my partner ejaculates on me4129
Having sex with someone much younger (legally) than me1857
Petting with a total stranger in a public place (e.g. metro)2048
Indulging in sexual swinging with a couple that I do not know2740
Spanking or whipping someone to obtain sexual pleasure2444
Being spanked or whipped to obtain sexual pleasure3629
Having homosexual (or gay) sex3721
Having a sexual relationship with a woman with very small breasts1152
Indulging in sexual swinging with a couple that I know1842
Being forced to have sex2931
Having sex with a fetish or non-sexual object2628
Having sex with a prostitute or a stripper1340
Having sex with more than three people (all men)2813
Showing myself naked or partially naked in a public place1723
Watching two men make love1916
Sexually abusing a person who is drunk or asleep or unconscious1123
Forcing someone to have sex1122
Wearing clothing associated with the opposite sex710
My sexual partner urinating on me410
Urinating on my sexual partner49
Having sex with an animal32
Having sex with a child under the age of 12 years12