Duck semen + E. Coli found to cure disease

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[Whimsical article ahead, proceed at your own risk]

In a surprising turn of events, semen from a species of duck has been found to totally destroy Esterichia Coli, a rather commonly and dangerous bacteria. Male mallard ducks, the… main contributors of the study are famous for their extremely long and spiral shaped genitalia, as well as their potency.

Even more interesting, the more coloured the ducks are, the more bacteria the semen kills. “Samples” collected from bright feathered ducks killed more than three times more E. Coli than dull coloured ones. Researchers believe female ducks are more attracted to brightly coloured ducks because they spread less viruses.

Now, I have no idea how researchers came up with this idea, but here’s my two cents:

Researcher A: Hey, I’m having trouble killing E. Coli.
Researcher B: Have you tried (X,Y) ?
Researcher A: Yeah man, nothing works.
Researcher B: Wait a second… have you tried duck semen ?!
Researcher A: …(long pause) My god, that’s it !

Sorry again about this, I don’t mean to mock the researchers, but it’s just too bloody funny.